Roo.

Roofus. Little Roofalin (spelling?). Doofus. Nugget.

She goes by a million names in our household, but she is our dog, and she is a nightmare.

Right now she is asleep on my feet. I love when she does this. Quiet, calm, snuggly.

In about 30 minutes though, she will wake up, take a massive dump downstairs, get a hold of my favorite pair of heels, and bark at our neighbors. She will force me to stop working on my homework by lying face first on my keyboard, refusing to move. Roo does not understand the word “No.” Or if I shove her in the face. She thinks everything is a game.

God, I wish I could make her understand that it is not a game. Life, that is. My life. Right?

In reality, she’s maybe… 6 months old now. She’s a baby, and I beat the shit out of her when she does something wrong. Which makes me fear that if one day I decide to procreate, I’m going to scream at my children and hit them when they mess up. Which is the complete opposite of how I want to raise a child. Or even my dog, for that matter.

Have you ever been around someone who brings the absolute worst out in you? You’re usually upbeat and kind, but being around this particular person makes you cold and cruel. Its scary, isn’t it? To not have enough control over your emotions to remember that warm part of you, when something else is making you ooze all of the negative parts. It makes you think that’s all you could possibly be made of; the bad stuff.

I just bent down my laptop screen to check out Roo. Guys, she’s so cute right now. If I could keep her like this forever, I would. Just sleeping on my feet.

But I can’t, because there’s a lot more to my 6 month old Roofus than sleeping all day. She’s a pooping, biting, barking, obnoxious mess. And I have to love her when she is that too. I have to love her when she sucks, not just when she’s being what I want her to be. I have to love people when they’re not all that I want them to be. And maybe most important in my life right now, I have to love myself when I’m not all that I want me to be.

Because I realized today mid-Roo freak out, that when I’m the worst on her, its usually because I’m already in a bad mood myself. Usually, I’m just mad at something I screwed up earlier that day. And so I take it out on her, and I don’t want to be the kind of person who takes out my anger on my dog, or my friends, or myself. I’d rather write it out here, or read a book, or play my guitar. Anything but hurt the people, or pups, that I love.

So readers, take care of yourselves. Because if you don’t, you’ll only be hurting everyone and everything else around you.

And even though Roo is full of forgiveness (and possibly has short term memory from brain-damage and forgets when we punish her which is part of the problem) I want her to be happy and healthy too.

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