In the game of life, it’s hard choosing sides. I’ve never been quite good at that, always somewhere in the middle of things. I see the grey in every situation, not too happy or too scared or too sad or too alive or too dead — I think that’s who I’ve become. Because maybe I’m scared to be angry over the wrong people, or I’m even more terrified of choosing what is best for me. How do you know what’s best for you when every one and every thing gives you a different feeling? One gets you high, the other keeps you safe, the last you can at least talk to. So I instead don’t choose. I float between you and him and them and life. I drift.
I don’t really want to be a drifter though. If I could choose, I would just find a home and stay.