John Green & Black Nail Polish

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Maybe it’s more like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen — these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And it’s only in that time we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into another through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.

— Paper Towns

I love to write. I always have. But even now as I sit here, I’ve realized that I’ve typed out this post a million-and-one times, with a million-and-twelve different themes, and I can never finish them. I don’t like how they come out. I’m not pleased with how they sound and how they are summed up. I really haven’t been good at writing anything in a while. Instead, I guess, I’ve been trying to listen to other people and their ideas about the world. I’m actually pretty bored with my own mind, if you can believe that.  Being inspired by other people, helps you focus less on yourself…and from what life has taught me so far in it’s still very short span of time, is that the more I do for only myself — the more consumed I become with the things that don’t matter. When I look out instead of in, I tend to even see myself more clearly, more peacefully. I think this is what John Green was getting at in his book Paper Towns.

Things that have inspired me recently:

1) Pete Seeger and his machine that surrounded hate and forced it to surrender

2) Divergent, the book. And the act/requirements of becoming Dauntless

3) Marketing. Who ever thought I’d be GOOD at Marketing? (things I’ve learned at my Internship)

4) BuzzFeed quizzes (not so much inspiring as grossly fun)

5) Learning how to love people better instead of the idea of them.

6) My black nail polish.

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