A Short Word on Forever’s.

My best friend just got done texting me about the girl she really likes. After the: “You have to meet her’s” and “Really though, how HOT is she’s?” she said:

“I know she’s out of my league, but I’m never giving up.”

I tend to hold closest to me the most passionate of people. My closest friends, have the strongest personalities, and most of them, when it comes to love, are hopeless romantics. Most of them fall deep and say “forever” so lightly, that it makes me question their sanity…but then I start questioning my excitement and commitment to my own existence…

When I say that, I don’t mean I want to give up on this race we call living,

But if my resistance to forever’s, keeps me from loving deeper, and living fuller.

These days, I don’t believe in the “I Love You” rule. This rule was made up by my best friend Corinne in middle school. The rule was that you could only say those three little words to a boy if you were in a commited relationship for over 5 months.

In the days when we thought “I Love You” was such a big deal. A binding contract between us and the one who had earned the coveted title of companion. Looking back, it was silly. It kept me from telling some people in the moment how deeply I felt about them. In other ways, I still think it has saved me…from possibly getting confused about what love really is.

I know I’m still young. And sometimes I feel like my writing is too…strong in conviction. But the older I get, the less important I think it is to find a perfect
reason why someone “should” be loved, but instead find myself just wanting to love them. Because they’re a living, breathing, human being who needs to be loved. Instead of picking moments of solidification to define my love for people, I’m just trying to choose the people themselves.

When my friend says she won’t give up, when I know just months ago she was saying that about someone else…a part of me gets angry with the fluidity of life. the other part is grateful that life goes on.

the ultimate human paradox.

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