So this post has some pretty uncomfortable topics. Specifically, Pedophilia and Cannibalism…and Child Murder.
You probably laughed when you read that. Because its so unthinkable..right? Well, I am a shameless Thought Catalog addict, so every once in a blue moon, I stumble upon posts like this:
The post is titled: I’m a Pedophile and I Hate Myself For it
Ok, how can you see that title and NOT click on it?
I had to know this guy’s story… so I read it. And I was shocked.
Isn’t it strange how…normal he sounds? I mean, he’s saying some pretty disturbing stuff but, at least for me, I read it in a composed sort of demeanor. As if he was confessing to something a little less shocking, like being a porn addict, or cheating on an exam. Maybe that was just my take on it. He obviously felt remorse. He obviously wished that he wasn’t the way that he is. That he could erase his thoughts. Numb his mind. If anyone reading this hasn’t related to that feeling at some point, then they probably aren’t being honest… In some strange way, you can find a way to relate to him. Which makes you uncomfortable.
I am also a renewed addict to Stumble Upon. This weekend I found this:
#3 is entitled: Interview With a Cannibal
it centers around a man named Issei Sagawa. He looks normal. Dresses normal. Was raised in a pretty standard, loving, caring family…and sometimes likes to, ya know, chop people up and eat them. So how does this happen? This documentary delves into that. And although my attention span only lasts for a short time (allowing me to only see a short bit of it) I saw how his mind slowly unraveled and it made sense, in a twisted sort of way. You could tell how his insecurities in his childhood caused him to slowly unravel. His inadequacy in stature and the shame he felt from his sexual desires, because that wasn’t something his culture talked about. If you take the crime away from the man, and focus on his downfall, be real — you can relate. And it’s strange, isn’t it?
Lastly, at work, things sometimes get boring.
Usually I just google Paula Deen riding butter and find pictures like this:
but when that loses it’s luster (shocking, I know), the Hosts at the counter like to talk about weird shit.
Like their favorite famous murderers and why.
Mine is Andrea Yates
this seemingly normal mother, drowned all five of her children in the bathtub, then called her husband and told him to come home. then, she called the police and confessed completely to what she did, begging for them to take her in. she never lied once about what she did. she believed she was saving them from the devil, and from herself. I remember when this case happened. I was 9, which makes me think: how could you remember that? but, I was raised on People magazine (thanks, nana) and therefore, these stories are ingrained in my mind forever. I wanted to know why she would do something so terrible. years later, as i’m standing at the host stand at my job, instead of doing my job, i’m researching her case. i spent an entire 8 hour shift reading every thing i could find on Andrea Yates. I am not exaggerating. Because I had to know why.
It turns out that for one, the couple was devoutly religious, but in a way that got ridiculously out of hand. At one point, her husband had their family living out of a trailer because of a street minister they had met years ago. This street minister convinced Andrea that she was possessed by the devil, and that she needed to do all kinds of strange things, including kill herself, to save her children. This went on for years, with Yates checking herself into multiple hospitals trying to find help. The woman did everything she could, as was proven by the defense. On the day she murdered her children, she was supposed to be under surveillance by her husband, who only left the house for a few hours. Obviously a few hours too long….
It was tragic. If you are interested in knowing more about her case, you should look it up. Because once you read about how she became the way she is, it all makes sense. And that is terrifying.
Their is a quote underneath the film about the Cannibal that says:
“….A fascinating insight into the life of a man lost in his own fantasies, this documentary challenges perceptions about what humans are truly capable of—as well as allowing us to understand the path one must take to reside where he now sits.”
A man lost in his own fantasies….
Allowing us to understand the path one must take to reside where he now sits…
I guess I write about and research things like this because at one point, these people were all just kids. Sagawa told us in the interview that his childhood was the happiest, most carefree part of his life. The Pedophile was once a child, probably not thinking that years down the road he would have corrupted thoughts about his friends and family. Yates, went from this:
These people are what society looks at and calls crazy. Inhuman. Murderers, rapists, psychos.
I look at them and see, me.
And I don’t mean that in a “I’m going to go eat people now and kill my future children” kind of way. I mean it in a way that you read their stories, and you see the path that got them to where they are. You realize that just like every human being on this planet, they got sucked into the darkness. But unlike some of us lucky ones, no one was there to help pull them out.
just food, (freakishly weird, food), for thought.
everyone go back to their normality now.