Jolene

I’m trying to be on a social media hiatus right now. Its really not that hard. I find myself being more productive (woah, shocking right?)

But it does make it hard when I see a pretty sunset and can’t Instagram it or have a stroke of punny wisdom and can’t tweet it. Instead, I’ve been noting things in my notes app again…

Here’s my week, summarized:

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This is Cameron aka (AK– Ass Kicker.) He’s my mid-30’s co-worker/best friend. He nicknamed me Cold Killa because I get ghetto when tables haven’t been cleaned and I’m trying to seat people. We have a ghetto-finger-gun handshake. He makes me laugh. On this day business was slow, so he pretended to be a midget waiter. I cried.

I realized the other day that I am a stomper. I literally crush cement when I walk. I don’t know why, but I genuinely scare people when they hear me walk by through their headphones — I’ve seen it. I walk like a baby mammoth and I need to fix it. So far I’ve tried walking on my tip-toes and prance/jump walking. Neither are ok.

I also figured out the T bus route (East-West) goes to the Hill…so I will never walk again.

Chic-Fil-A greeters are way too damn joyful. Stop being so nice to me and giving me extra fruit because I’ve been here three times this week. You know I secretly hate you for hating my gays/love you for that seriously award-worthy chicken sandwich

Tina Fey is kind of my Jesus right now. I read some of her book in Union Ave Bookstore yesterday and started lol’ing in public over her first gynecologist visit (its like a gigantic milkshake maker.)

I’ve been doing a lot of inspiration hunting for people I look up to/want to be like. So far its:

Kacey Musgraves: for being southern, but not ignorant and your typical country star. plus her songwriting is pure, simple, and kick-ass.

Britney Spears: yes, I know. but I respect her for being crazy honest (literally crazy.) I watched her documentary and realized that she’s still my childhood idol for multiple reasons.

Natalie Portman: because she’s a genius, and she’s funny. Not to mention she shaves her head all the time for movie roles…I wish I could shave my head but I have a very round face.

Tina Fey: because she’s Tina Fey. Plus we both have scars with dumb stories. Ok her story is better than mine…but her scar jokes are funny.

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I am currently sitting at home [unexpected twist] because somehow I didn’t get scheduled to work. It will probably be my only time here for a while. So far:

My mom’s Nutrisystem box is sitting downstairs and I’m laughing because: as children, my mom was the weight-loss infomercial queen. We owned: The Total Gym, TaeBo, The Gazelle (which caused severe physical damage to me and my friends because we were stupid), All kinds of women’s workout tapes that I can’t remember the name of but had some sort of ball, or squatting-box, etc. We bought a Wii for yoga and my mom used it once and got offended when it told her she was cyberly-70 years old.

Lastly, I study people. At dinner with my family tonight I stared at all of them wondering how they are so good at their relationships/I see certain things that I could never do/handle and think that they are crazy for staying in them. Then I think of the one bible verse, that even though I’m not religious, is relevant and true to me to this day and will be for the rest of my life…and it makes sense.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these, is love.

— 1 Corinthians (somethin’ somethin’)

 

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