if you keep up with my blog: remember when I said I was going to start thinking less?
So, two things have been on my mind this week. And of course, I’ll sum them up in quotes:
Yes and No are very powerful words. Mean them when you say them. Respect them when you hear them.
This is the first thing that has been racking my brain this week as I start the new semester.
Lately My whole life, I have struggled with simply telling people no. Usually its a guy I don’t want to let down, or a friendship I don’t want to lose. Regardless, I just HATE confrontation, of any kind. 99% of the time, I really do know how I feel about people, or situations. What drives me literally insane is when other people try and tell you how you feel. Like bitch, you don’t know me! (totally kidding) but, really. I’m working on this…I am, I swear. I compare my ineptness to deal with confrontation to people who struggle with OCD. They want to wash their hands 20 times a day and I can’t say no to someone without sounding like a 5 year old child pleading for someone’s understanding. On the flip side, I have also really had to learn to face reality myself. Shocking, but sometimes people say no to me. (I know, crazy right?) Whether I agree, or disagree, or am hurt, it doesn’t matter. In the end, respect that person’s decision. No means no. Do try and mean it when you say it though. I know I will from now on (or I’ll try my best)
We took risks. We knew we took them. Things have come out against us. We have no cause for complaint.
Risks suck sometimes. Like when you got out on a limb for someone, and come up short. Sometimes they’re exciting, like jumping off a cliff and miraculously not breaking your whole body when you hit the water. And as humans, we are so dumb, because we take risk after risk after risk, knowing that most likely, we are going to fail. Crash and Burn. So why do we do it? We do it because it feels good. We do it because we want the rush. We want to feel like at any moment, it could be taken from us (which it all ultimately will) so why not jump? Because it hurts, right? Because you could lose. And always after we lose, people say: “don’t worry: there are far better things ahead of you, than any you have left behind.”
I hate the word “better.”
It demeans the good we’ve already had. The people we have loved and lost. The places and memories we leave behind us, for what? For something better? Is it better, or is it just new?
To please my own conscience, I’ve decided to look at it this way: The more we lose, the more we appreciate what we have. The more we lose, the more compassionate we become. So this better thing, I just think it’s bullshit. Don’t linger on the past, but don’t ever forget those good times, and appreciate every single second when you know what you have is really good. And yes, great and amazing moments will always be ahead of you. There is always something else to learn, always someone else to lend a hand to, and always more love in your heart to give.
If you do it right, your heart should grow from the hurt, not crumble beneath it.
Did I ramble again? Oh well.