Home Again

home again, one day i know i’ll feel home againImage

you know those moments, that while you’re in them, you know that they are going to be significant?

I love these moments, and I hate them at the same time. I love them, because it’s almost like you can feel the world shifting beneath your feet while they’re happening. Like all of those questions you’ve been asking yourself for months, and years..you’re slowly answering them. And I guess by “answering” them, I don’t mean that the journey is over. Simply that a little understanding has come your way, or that you have shared your story with someone, and someone has shared their story with you, and it made a difference.

I hate these moments, because like with almost everything else, they fade.

That’s why I feel like I have to write them down, because if I don’t, time will take them from me. And I hate that time does this to us, forces us to forget.

But it also heals, and that’s weird too, and I guess I was thinking all of this as I took on this long, relaxing, reflective,Thanksgiving day.

Another thing that makes life better is when you can find the name of a song by Google searching the only line that you can remember from it.

My dad and I did this on the car ride home from Fayetteville tonight. He said this song came on the other day, and we related it to whatever deep discussion we were having, which is too much for this blog. I do however, like the line of it that I was able to find it with:

“Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong.”

As I sat in my aunt’s living room tonight with just her and my dad, stuck in one of those moments that you know are going to change your life, I think this line sort of summed up what I was feeling. Last year around this time was really tough for my family. My aunt just went through a terrible divorce, my dad was on the other side of the country, I was well…a mess to be honest. And tonight was one of those moments that you wait on forever to happen. Where everyone just starts telling their stories, and somehow you can relate your pain to someone else’s, and it’s probably one of my top favorite kinds of moments in life, because you feel so many things at once. Clarity, and peace, and thankfulness.

You feel so incredibly grateful.

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I guess I never answered the part about the song fitting in with the moment.

My family is my rock. They’re who I look to for comfort and inspiration. The people that will always be there when I need them, the people who teach me about life and love (in spite of, and because of their own flaws and mistakes with it.) Sometimes I get stuck in my head and in trying to answer all of my life’s questions, but my family brings me down to earth.

They remind me that everyone is human. We’re all just doing the best we can. And nobody’s right, if everybody’s wrong. Just love them anyway.

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Eli: “Tori, sometimes the neighborhood kids tell me I’m a nerd.”

Me: “Don’t worry kid, they’ll all be making your Big Macs someday.”

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