sometimes i get embarrassed that i like songs like this.
its cheesy, and simple, and i could care less! its catchy and reminds me of home, which is where i’ve been spending some quality time this weekend since i won’t be able to come back for awhile.
i got to watch my friends shannon and buddy get married today, and had a little too much fun at my neighbors birthday party last night. finally got some quality time in with my mama, and for some reason, i agreed to meet up with my dad at 4 am at a waffle house before i head back to knox tomorrow…
as much as home changes every time i come back, it also thankfully stays the same. the back-road i used to take to my house might be completely different now (totally got lost), but the hearts of the people i love are all the same, and that’s what matters anyway. there is a part of me that will always belong to this. to the simple country songs and slow pace of everyday small town life. where people know my past and i don’t have to explain myself to anyone. there is also a part of me that knows i could never stay. a part of me that wants to be cool and listen to indie music and wear hippie skirts when sometimes i think the real me is more faded blue jeans and quiet southern nights.
the older we get, the more complex we become. we go off to college and meet all kinds of different people. we get tattoos, explore different cultures, decide we know exactly who we are and what we want, and then we change our minds. and all these things make up who we are. how vastly complex one human life is.
i guess in this new “phase” of my life, i want to embrace it all. the part of me that wants to go live in some mountains in colorado, the part of me that wants to make documentaries in foreign countries, and the part of me that will always belong in small town tennessee. i like listening to a.a. bondy on repeat and then switching to tim mcgraw, wearing fedoras and then coming home and changing into a baggy sweatshirt. i’m outdoorsy and high maintenance and strong and sometimes weak, and a lot of other things that i don’t know yet.
you get the point.
regardless, i strongly believe we all choose who we become. i just want to like how i turn out.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald